Before I Forget (2010)

[Incendiary Aftermath]

*The Muni was an awful excuse for a public transit system. It was decrepit and everyone on it smelled like ass and urine. There were old people and vagrants. Pathetic excuses for human beings. The bus rolled to a stop and a tattered old man climbed onboard. As the bus took off again, he lost balance and fell forward. He tried grabbing onto my trench coat as he fell, and I stepped to the side, avoiding him.* Fuck off, dickhead! *I turned away from the homeless man as he attempted to get up. I held my grip on the bar above me as the bus came to yet another rolling stop. More vagrants piled on, and I took it as my cue to leave. It was my stop anyways. I hopped off and buttoned my coat up, then braced myself for the harsh San Francisco wind. I loved the city, just not the people. It was so beautiful and artistic. Lovely, and majestic. Like a modern day castle. A cornucopia of culture and art... I just hated the people. Most of them, anyways. I reach the grounds of my school campus and made my way back to my dorm room. I smiled as I passed over the quad and saw one of the only people I didn't hate.*

[Nicole Scott]

My head twitched. My fingers spazzed. I tried to look normal. I honestly, truly did. My condition didn't allow me to, however, and I had to face that everyday. Everyone judged me as I walked past. I tried dressing nice to distract from my twitching, I dressed in fancy dresses, and occasionally frilly shirts. I wanted to feel pretty like the other girls, and I wanted to be accepted. But still, everywhere I went, people looked at me like I was a freak. I had become more numb to their stares and words, on the outside, it seemed that I didn't care at all. As long as everyone else believed that, I felt at peace. I walked past the dining commons, past a large group of people that simply stopped and stared. I tried to hold my head as still as possible, but it ended up thrashing to the side in one of the split second spazzes I had on a daily basis. The girl in the center of the group laughed. I walked faster towards the bus stop and smiled when I saw the one person to make me feel like a normal person. I was met with big, strong arms, and a thick trench coat engulfed me. "Hi, Michael." I smiled up at him, and my twitching stopped for a second.

[Incendiary Aftermath]

*I held this frail, delicate girl in my arms and smiled down at her.* Sorry I'm late, Muni was Hell. Hungry? *Nicole nodded and we made our way to the dining commons. She could have just met me here, but she was afraid to go alone. Hanging out with Nicole was wonderful. I felt like a protector, I felt useful. No one stared at Nicole when i was around. They looked at her, then at me, and looked away. Any thoughts they had, gone. Nicole twitched from time to time and I chuckled at her. She blushed and punched me in the arm, playfully.* You know, you're going to break my arm one of these days. *I rubbed my arm mockingly, and she rolled her eyes at me. Those precious, pale-blue eyes.*

[Nicole Scott]

We sat down at my favorite sushi place and Michael told me I could get whatever I wanted. He was always so nice to me, I felt bad that he was always the one to pay whenever we hung out. My family never had much to their name, so me being on my own never left me with vast amounts of excess cash. It was nice that he was so willing to ensure that I had a fun time. He was like the older brother I never had, but... so much more than that. He smiled at me once our drinks came, and handed mine to me. My head twitched and sent my glasses off my face. I picked them up, and involuntarily laughed much louder than I should have. Everyone stared. Michael did one of the things he usually did in situations such as these. He did something equally distracting, which in this case, was 'accidentally' bumping his knee on the table and shrieking in pain. Everyone quickly shifted focus to him and I put my glasses back on. Once everyone's stares had subsided, I blushed. "Thank you." I said to him, trying to keep myself from spazzing once again.

[Incendiary Aftermath]

*I smiled at Nicole and held my knee in pain. It retrospect, it wasn't my smartest idea, and I could have done something less harmful, like burping. Nicole was happy, and I couldn't care less what anyone else thought. Our food arrived shortly after that, and I struggled to use chopsticks. Eventually I figured it out and took a bite of what I assumed to be eel. Nicole amazed me whenever she ate. Despite her condition, she was always able to be so exact and precise with her chopsticks. Anything that concerned small, delicate movements, she was actually above average at doing. More so than I was, at least. She asked me how my knee was doing after swallowing a mouthful of rice.* My knee is fine, I really should be less clumsy, though. *I tried not to make it obvious that I did things to distract attention from her. She just wanted to be normal, I didn't want her to think I was treating her special. Well... not too special, anyways.* Is it difficult being so pretty, Nicole? I'd get annoyed at all the attention. *Subtle. Nice one. She smiled and rolled her eyes. Her usual response to my flirtatious actions. She didn't quite understand the difference between flirting and kindness. I was fine with that.*

[Nicole Scott]

*There were times when Michael's passes at me were too much to handle. It wasn't that I didn't appreciate the notion, but to put it simply, I wasn't interested in anything more than friendship from anyone, man or woman. Still, I smiled and joked with him, as he was the best friend I had, and hurting him was the last thing I could do.* Can we get out of here soon? I need to study for a kanji midterm soon. *He nodded and payed our meal, then opened the door for me. He was always such a gentleman. If i ever changed my mind about relationships... My head twitched and sent my face into the door frame.*

[Incendiary Aftermath]

Geez! You alright, hun? *I wrapped an arm around her and patted her head lightly* One of these days you're going to kill yourself. *I shook my head and guided her out of the doorway. I left my arm around her shoulder so she had a place to rest her now throbbing skull. She took the opportunity and I smiled a bit. My happiness faded as we passed a flier for Better Living Industries.*

Test Subjects Wanted

Able bodied men and women between the ages of 18-24 for the testing of new drugs within the mood enhancement, and mental disorder containment field.

For more information, call our office at extension number: 835

Have a better day.

*I tore down the flier in hatred and crumbled it to the ground.* Fucking slave drivers. All of them. *Nicole looked confused and I took a deep breath.* Better Living... I've read about them. People go into their office for "testing", and come back changed.... different. It's awful. People are made a certain way for a reason... not some divine plan... but because this is how we are supposed to deal with life. To change yourself... why would anyone do that...?

[Nicole Scott]

W-what if it was a change for the better? What if it would make life better for you? *As Michael walked away, steaming in rage. I picked up the flyer and stuffed it into my purse. He looked back just as I had closed it, and I jogged up to meet up with him. I couldn't tell if he was upset with me, or the flyer. Emotions weren't very easy for me to grasp, but I tried. I locked my arm with his and leaned against his shoulder. He grew much less tense after that. I liked making him happy.*

[Incendiary Aftermath]

-One month later

*I was pissed. Finals, drunkards, and the new BLI office going up next-door to campus wasn't helping my state of mind either. Nicole and I had grown apart in this past month, which also fueled my constant state of hating everything. Expressing my feelings for her made her shut herself off from me, and we only talked in passing now. I snapped my pencil and threw the pieces at the wall ahead of me. They landed on my bed. The fan above me barely spun and was mostly there to make noise now. I placed my head in my hands and sighed just as my phone went off. It was my friend, Jake.* Hello?

Yo, Mike. I got a job, dude!

Sick, where at?

That new office building that just went up down the street. It's got wicked pay for a security job, bro. I could hook you up. They said they're still hiring.

Nah... man, I don't need to be in that place...

Suit yourself mate, I gotta go. My shift starts in 45. Peace